Christmas Mr Hack 107

It time to wish readers and contributors a happy and hopefully prosperous New Year, largely depending on how the terms of the Euro agreement work out for all of us. Two cards to admire this time ... the first a very festive picture but one I hope we don't get to enjoy here. The other image comes from 1971 and was UTV's friendly way of sending greetings to its people ... many of whom you will no doubt recognise, so good luck guessing who they all are. I know at least six ... starting in the middle with Ian Sanderson. Happy guessing ... and again, Happy Christmas.  

Comments

[Chairman]

Most of the Copyboys will be familiar with the faces in the above UTV Christmas Card and, although taken 40 years ago, those I have seen recently don't seem to have changed all that much. Admittedly they can't smile anymore like they do in the 1971 photograph, which is one of the great drawbacks with Botox. Anyway, I wish all our Copyboys, contributors and readers, a very happy Christmas and a less fearsome winter than last year's. Keep warm and keep well.

[Graham McKenzie]

I think I see (left to right): Leslie Dawes, Gerry Kelly, don't know, don't know, Ian Sanderson, Jackie Fullerton, don't know, don't know (but is it Ivan Little or Alan Green?),don't know, don't know, don't know, Gloria Hunniford, Hugh Owens, Jeanie Johnston.

And a Very Happy Christmas from me too also!

[JC]

Thanks for that, Graham ... I know that the face beneath Ivan's is Mike Catto ... and I had to ask someone to find out. Ps... when spam appears, boys, do not comment on it. I am working out some way with typepad to stop the spams appearing.

[Graham]

SO CAN HIGH HEELS REALLY GIVE YOU AN ORGASM

That's one of the more prominent headlines in the "Belfast Telegraph" online edition today. Wasn't like that in "our day" in newspapers! Wonder if these prospective pieces get discussed at the daily editorial conference? Huh?
Obviously, you might not want to read the content, so purely for archive purposes, the link to the story is below:

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/woman/sex-love/so-can-high-heels-really-give-you-an-orgasm-16088844.html

[Michael]

My long-suffering wife was pleased to hear that she can expect an orgasm in her stocking (provided said stocking is enclosed in high heels). Gives me a break too.

Oh dear, poor BT goes from bad to worse.

Last night Derek from the BT phoned to discuss the benefits of having the paper home delivered. I enjoyed the call; it was one of those occasions when a salesdroid is glad to end the call itself.

[sm]

And the moral of that story is - Don't buy your wife a pair of high-heeled shoes for Christmas. If you do - you're redundant.

[Cal McCrystal]

My pal Sarkozy tells me that Cuban heels for men are excellent ejaculator aids. He should know, I guess.

[Chairman]

Is this why women are never out of shoe shops? And why they try on every shoe in the store? Its like flirting with strangers.I imagine it will merely be a matter of time before some slick lawyer names a pair of Guccis as co-respondent in a divorce.

[Michael]

More tales from the police courts in happier times. The week before Christmas would see a succession of the city drunks, seeking the hospitality of Her Majesty over the holiday period.

There was also a parade of seasonal shoplifters, many of them caught by Sadie, the Littlewoods store detective, who would exchange greetings with her clients between cases. This friendly intercourse was taken to unusual lengths one day when one regular customer was lightly fined rather than jailed. "Thanks very much Your Worship, Happy Christmas. An' Happy Christmas to you too, Sadie".

While most stories through the year came from Custody Court no. 2 I used to pop into Court 3 next door, where the irascible Gerry Lynn, RM, presided over the civil assaults every Thursday.

These were civil cases between neighbours, who quite often continued with a second round on the way to/from the witness box. When this happened Gerry would call the custody Sgt. Alec Haire from next door, and have the parties locked up to cool off.

One day I sat down on the Press bench to see Gerry roll his eyes heavenward in greeting. I was just in time for the flustered clerk to say the court could go no further, as His Worship had sent down all the parties in the dozen or so cases listed.

I got another nice page one top, "Court sends all its cases to the cooler". My wife and I dined in the Royal Hotel in Bangor (remember Bill and Anne O'Hara?) the following Saturday night and Gerry said hello as he passed our table. When we asked for the bill we found that he had paid it.

After 1969 there was precious little humour in the courts as we began our long descent into the Troubles. Christopher was a regular customer for petty crimes but went down for a long stay following the armed robbery of Holywood post office about 1967. He was released into the early years of the Troubles and when I met him outside the NL one day he was finding it difficult to adjust to the new conditions in Belfast. "Hello Christopher, how's it going?"

"******* terrible Mike. You can't do any ******* thieving any more, you'd get ******* shot with all these ******* soldiers around the ******* place".

One night shortly after I last saw him a patrol spotted him on the roof of the Water Office (now M&S). Whether he panicked or slipped when challenged was unclear but he plunged some 90ft to his death on Callender St.

[Cal McCrystal]

Brilliant recollections, Michael. Reading them, it occurred to me that you might make them the subject of a great book. You perfectly capture the atmosphere of the old custody court (with which I once was familiar}, and the bizarre intimacy between magistrate and defendant. I was reminded of a case before Bow Street magistrates back in the '60s. A habitual drunk and trouble-maker called Paddy (He was Irish) was in the dock (following a tiresome string of prostitutes who had misbehaved in some way). His worship sighed with fatigue and boredom before addressing the defendant thus: "Now, Paddy, I'm not sending you to jail, because jail has not discouraged you from your errors in the past. I'm not going to fine you, because you have no money. So instead I want you to promise me right now, Paddy, that you will never drink again. Not even a teeny-weeny sherry before dinner."

[A.McQ.]

Thankfully, Cal, it wasn't The Best Chairman We Ever Had up before the beak. Daph has to keep a padlock on the sherry decanter Chez Simpson until just before dinner is served...if she doesn't the Old Boy can get a bit funny.

[Ian Sanderson]

A few more names for the Christmas card - Dave, a freelance director(can't finish it off, he's behind Gerry Kelly), Hilary Bryans, Ivan Lyttle, Michael MacMillan and Hugh Owens, Judy Featherston (a PA, beside Gloria)...and a partridge in a pear tree...

[Ivan Little]

The definitive list of names on the YuleTV card is from left to right: Leslie Dawes, Dave Turner, Gerry Kelly, Hilary Bryans, Ian Sanderson, Mike Catto, Jackie Fullerton,(Beardless)Me, Raymond Maxwell, Judy Fetherstone, Michael MacMillan, Gloria Hunniford, Hugh Owens and Jeanie Johnston.

[Blogmaster]

Apparently, the party at the Reform Club went off very well and we have been sent pix to record the event (now in the album Journos at Large). Don McAleer tells us that the gathering had lots of tales of days past and those present, as you will see, included Ivan Little, Don, of course, Ivan McMichael, Martin Lindsay, Deric Henderson, David Lynas, Ray Managh, Hugh Jordon, John Devine, Michael Cairns and someone we miss to hear from a lot, Neil Johnston, now sporting a handsome beard. Enjoy the pictures.

[Michael]

This is just a test, as Typepad has been acting like many a good editor and rejecting my contributions. I'll have to pester our hard-working Blogmaster again ...

[Blogmaster]

Strange things to happen ... I have attempted five times on your behalf to publish your comment/story and after seconds it disappears. I am asking a higher authority (typepad) to tell me the reason ... Ps ... I shall still work on it to see if I can succeed.

[Michael]

Until the 1960s Northern Ireland drivers and indeed the whole community had a relaxed attitude towards drinking and driving. It was considered quite amusing to drive while under the influence although drink was a major factor in fatal accidents.

There was no prescribed limit for alcohol consumption. The offence was driving/in charge while under the influence to such an extent that the person was unfit to have proper control of the vehicle. To detect such an offence the police would ask the driver to walk along a chalk line, or touch one finger to the nose, or even keep his balance, followed by a doctor's examination.

Most cases were straightforward, the police accounts and the evidence of the police doctor Bertie Irwin being enough for the magistrate to convict. But the definition of "to such an extent" was a goldmine for lawyers, and none more so than Mr. Basil Kelly QC.

The great man charged 100 guineas for a plea, and 200 guineas for a defence. (For post-1971 youngsters, a guinea was 21 shillings, or 105p. As a BT reporter I earned £9 a week). Several times a year the bewigged and begowned Presence would waft from High Court across Chichester St to Custody Court, wee Tommy Lowe the clerk almost doubling himself in two, Bradley McCall QC, RM, solemnly nodding as the Presence bowed to the Bench. But his fellow magistrates John Long and Gerry Lynn would give us a sideways glance during the performance. A raised eyebrow from Gerry towards the Press bench would leave Norman Ballantine and myself struggling to keep straight faces.

"I am most obliged to Your Worship ... Your Worship is very kind ... indeed I would be greatly facilitated if we might proceed this afternoon ... I am greatly indebted to Your Worship". The bowing and scraping was enough to make anyone boke.

The great man's defence could last two hours, though the result was always the same. He would sympathetically question the policemen who had seen the defendant walk the line, in some cases holding him/her up because he/she could not stand never mind walk.

One day Basil asked an older constable whether he had called the doctor before or after the defendant had been asked to walk the line, or as the he succinctly put it "before or after you requested my client to perform the ambulatory test". The constable thumbed his notebook, paused for effect, and rose nobly to the occasion: "It was subsequent to that examination Your Worship ... it was consequent upon the termination of the perambulation".

Gerry Lynn turned red and had a severe attack of coughing, his hands over his face. Norman and I did not dare look at him, for we were helpless.

Finally Basil would question Dr Irwin in great detail before his killer question. "Now doctor, I fully accept you have great experience in this field ... few practitioners could have wider knowledge ... you are of great assistance to the Court ... blah blah blah ... but given your great experience, could you agree that another doctor might possibly have reached a different conclusion?"

Of course Bertie Irwin had to agree, and the defendant was off the hook except for paying m'learned friend. Chatting after one particularly blatant case I said the driver should not have escaped, and John Long burst out laughing. "Och, don't worry Michael, Basil will fine him a brave wheen more than I could".

I think the 80mg alcohol limit was introduced in the 1968 Road Traffic Act, making the offence one of fact rather than opinion, and Basil's nice little earners came to an end. But in the same year he was made Attorney-General, so he didn't need them anyway.

The great man retired to England and made his last appearance before the highest court in 2008, when he was 88. I wonder what he charged St. Peter for his plea?

[Chairman]

Brilliant piece on the great Basil Kelly. Remember him well. I've seen more guilty men walk out of court thanks to Basil than any other lawyer. Recall a case before Judge Charlie Shields, another great courtroom character, when the defence council (May have been Basil, can't recall after 50 years) gave a heartrending plea to the jury and persuaded them to acquit a professional fraudster of cashing forged cheques. When the jury announced "Not Guilty," Judge Shields leaned over to the lawyer and said in a stage whisper, "May I suggest it might be wise to insist your client pay your fee in cash."

[Chairman]

Learned the other day that crosswords can cause a rapid increase in the ageing process. Was having trouble with a crossword clue in a newspaper. It said 'Old writing implement." Naturally I tried to fit "Quillpen". Too short. Then Fountainpen. Didn't work either. It was then I had the horrible realisation that the answer was "Typewriter". Haven't been so shocked since I visited the Olde Schoolhouse at the Ulster Folk Museum and realised it looked more modern than the one I went to.

[Graham]

The Belfast Telegraph is launching a "Corrections and Clarifications" column.
Readers' editor Paul Connolly asks readers to write,email BTreaderseditor@gmail.com, or phone him or the newsdesk - but doesn't give a number.

The column won't necessarily appear every day: "To be truthful" says Mr Connolly "we don't normnally receive a large volume of complaints"

[JC]

I had planned to note the appearance of this Corrections and Clarifications column in other newspapers - the Mail and the Daily and Sunday Telegraph. Happily, they provide an email address and phone number. Paul C. will have to put a note in the Telegraph's column pointing out their mistake and correcting it, hopefully.

[ruthie]

Can's wait until Murdoch opens a few more papers. Am wearied listening to the Leveson Enquiry.
Delighted to see some celebs won't appear.
Funny how those involved with the Nether regions, ie Hugh Grant and Max Moseley are up to their belly buttons in giving evidence.
Had a few wee Jehovah Witness preacher ladies calling with me in the sticks over the past few months. I always bring them in for tea and buns, because not only have they a calming effect, they are geuninely worried about the planet.
Today I was feeding the pigs and they called, straight to the point, they read me scriptures in the yard.
They told me the wicked would be destroyed, and I asked would it be this week or next week.
I justified my own personal wickedness by pointing out the three stray dogs which I had rehomed - a jack russell, a fox terrier and a harrier foxhound.
Don't know if I passed the test, because they are coming back again. Since I live a reclusive lifestyle, I am looking forward to the visit.

[Graham]

Ruthie's dispatches "from the sticks" always bring a smile to my face. Though she often begins with a journalistic point (as above) she often veers off into more important topics. This goes to remind us that there's a life outside journalism. Happy Christmas, Ruthie.

ps - a picture of Ruthie with pigs, hens etc
would be nice for our "Journos at large" album

[Chris Ryder]

The late great Gerry Fitt had a little boat in which he cruised the Thames Valley stopping off at various locks and libation locations to refresh his thirst and refill the flotation chambers of his vessel with gin for the next stage. On one of these voyages he was hailed from the bank by one Basil Kelly with whom he was , of course , very well acquainted. Thereafter the two got together very regularly until one of them was called to the great saloon bar in the sky. ( I cannot recall which of them departed first. ) They did however greatly enjoy regaling each other with their memories. According to Gerry, Basil was none too happy in the home counties and yearned to go back home to frequent his old haunts, a proposition his good wife completely opposed.

[Cal McCrystal]

Basil Kelly was a person whom I once got to know in the High Court and in the Ulster Tavern. He conducted himself with both élan and éclat, in conversation, debate and imbibing. Did he become a judge? Why did he settle in England? I had no idea that he and Gerry Fitt had been buddies.

[Chris Ryder]

He became a judge at the start of the troubles and was said to have harboured huge financial regrets as his former colleagues started to earn previously unheard of astronomical sums from the Diplock no jury courts. Like all judges he was hemmed in by claustrophobic security and I understand that when he retired his -English? - wife insisted on going to live in England to have a more normal life. Gerry and he certainly became acquainted at Stormont when Basil was AG but I think that Basil may well have earlier been part of the Duke Of York cabal - Bud Bossence, Martin McBurney, Paddy Devlin, Sam Thompson etc etc anyway I know they lost touch until that riverside encounter after which they met regularly.

One of the big cases Basil presided over was that of the UDR soldier who killed the wife of her Army officer lover in a County Down forest. All through the trial he seemed highly enamoured of the accused and said some very warm and encouraging words when he sentenced her. The detectives concerned were sure had taken a shine to her.

[A.McQ.]

Can we have more tales of the old Custody Court and our dear departed Learned Friends please?

[Chris Ryder]

To oblige m'learned friend I recall that one morning the highly eccentric and unpredictable Charlie Stewart was on the bench when a man appeared on charges related to doing the double. One of the solicitors who specialised in sob stories on behalf of their clients then orated a tale of heartbreaking intensity to persuade Charlie that he should view the transgression with supreme leniency.

Charlie was so moved that he instructed the defendant to go away and write an essay about the evils of doing the double. I happened to be back in court a week later when the said man was called upon to read his work aloud for the edification of all present. Charlie was so pleased with what he heard that he gave the man a conditional discharge with the proviso that he should use his skills to get a proper job.

[Cal McCrystal]

Bravo, Chris. Those are marvellous anecdotes. Oh, how history is made!

[Graham]

When I was a boy we got the "Weekly News" (DC Thomson publication, from the same stable as the "Dandy" and "Beano").

There was a feature every week called "Little Stories from the police courts" It was written something in the style of the way Quentin Letts writes the Parliamentary Sketch in the "Daily Mail" - though no magistrates were ever caricatured;just some of the more witty defendants and their excuses - full of Glesca humour.

And on a more serious note, in later years the "Irish Times" got Nell McCafferty to report every day from the Dublin police courts. Her brief seemed to be to concentrate on the minutae - stories that wouldn't normally make the paper.

The hopeless drunks - their life stories as told by their solicitors, the victimised prostitutes - their downfall, the starving thieves - their motivations....human stories which alerted the better-off readers to an area of life with which they were unfamiliar, and which no doubt were intended by the editor to prick the social
conscience.

This detailed reporting - whether humorous or serious - seems to have gone out of fashion now. Celebrity, and more recently, sleaze, is seen as the big thing.

[Chris Ryder]

Absolutely Graham. The courts are almost entirely unreported and many grand stories are missed. And newspapers wonder why people no longer buy and read them.

[Chris Ryder]

And there used to be a fashion for court diaries as you mention. Some of them were great to read. Was at a case recently and would love to have written such a colour piece.

[A.McQ.]

Part of the problem with court reporting nowadays - even in the lower courts - is that cases are rarely dealt with on the day. Normally they're "adjourned for reports" on the defentant's suitability for whichever sentence the magistrates are allowed to pass according to the book containing all the "tariffs". There's also the other often well-made point on here and other blogs that in this world of beancounters in charge of newspapers there are not enough staff to cover courts or stay with stories to the bitter end.

[Michael]

Most of the Police Court business was handled by a few solicitors, principal among them being Brian Campbell, John Toner and Paddy McCrory. Press, police and solicitors all worked together with great good humour.

One day John Toner was pleading to some petty charge, finishing with a plea for clemency as his client had a clear record. At this the records sergeant became very agitated.

"I'd ask Your Worship to permit the defendant to maintain his good character", said John, unaware that by now the sergeant was waving a sheaf of records above his head.

"Er ... sorry to interrupt but I think the sergeant wants to say something", said the RM. The sergeant read a list of 30-plus convictions, from shoplifting to assault.

John didn't bat an eyelid. "Well, apart from that the defendant has a clear record", he said.

[A.McQ.]

The Irish RM has nothing on the McRichie Memoirs!

[Chairman]

About 25 years ago a retired Belfast RM (I think it might have been Walmsley) wrote a short book on courtroom anecdotes. I know such a book existed because I reviewed it for the BT. I probably still have a copy up in the attic somewhere but it would take me a month to find it. There is stuff stored up there that I know if I took it to the Antiques Road Show, they'd confirm the popular opinion that it is total rubbish. Most of it was rubbish when we put it up there but it was too new to throw away and we have a policy to store things like that until they are old enough to throw away. Maybe someone out there has a copy of the Belfast RM's book of courtroom reminicences or at least recalls the author's name. One of you googlers or tweeters may be able to research the source.

[Graham]

I was in court one day when resident magistrate Gerry Lynn got cross when a Head Constable (remember Head Constables?),sensing that Gerry was leaning towards the defendant's version of affairs, started protesting: "But your worship. this man has a record"

With an air weary resignation Gerry replied: (Sigh) Ooooh Kaay, play it, Head"

[Graham]

...another slice from ancient minutes of the NUJ N Ireland branch...

REPORTING BY NON-JOURNALISTS
The question of non-journalists acting as sports correspondents greatly exercised a meeting of the NI branch of the NUJ on June 2, 1935.

“It was eventually agreed that the hon. Secretary should write to the sports editors of the “Daily Express” and “Thomson’s Weekly News” asking them to discontinue the services of Mr Fred Russell and Mr J Shanks respectively”according to the minutes

However, “instruction was given to the hon.secretary to write to the sports editor of the “News of the World” thanking him for appointing one of the branch members (Mr W Irwin) Whig as Belfast sports correspondent in place of a non-Unionist”

Thirty years later, when I attended NUJ meetings the sore point of “non-journalists” was still being aired, and our N Ireland branch was having regular wrangles with BBC N Ireland on the topic.

And, fifty years later, across the water, in the 80s, journalists, enraged by a local grocer reporting on football matches for an English local radio station, set up a stall selling groceries at a football match. Does this issue of non-journalists still rumble on?

[Derek Black]

Yes Graham I came up against that one in the late 1970s when I was FOC. But the issue that I found most distressing was 'copy milking'. That was no less than theft of another person's work. To make it even more appalling, the perpetrator was a person regarded as a bastion of journalism in Belfast.

On another subject, a neighbour told me this evening that he used to deliver papers to the home of one Hastings Maginnis. I faintly recall that he was chief sub when I joined the BT but nothing beyond that. Any further information would be of interest....

[A.McQ.]

I liked Hastings. When he covered Ards home games for the ISN he often spent more time arguing with the locals about his report on his previous visit than he did watching the game!

[JC]

Hastings . ... my fondest memory is sitting beside him at Castlereagh Park reporting Ards matches. We came to an agreement which suited him and me well. He would dictate several hundred words to me before half time and full time and I would telephone what he'd written to the Exchange Telegraph and the ISN copytakers.

Then, on a Tuesday night I would go to his home on the North Road (the house still stands) and there I would be seated in the middle of the front room, with a cup of tea, and he would circle me dictating an entire match report for the Newtownards Spectator.

Hastings did not pull his punches in the reports which we used with a pen name. So much so that after a few weeks I had a visit to our office in Frances Street from the head of Blaxnit Socks, who was with his brother, James, ran the Ards club along with Harry Cavin. He wanted to find out who was being so unkind to them. They never did find out.

[Michael]

GEORGE THE GUARD

Belfast Custody Court was not a place where one would expect audience participation, yet I remember one instance.

Sometime in the mid-Sixties we noticed an elderly man daily taking his place in the front row. There was nothing new in this, for many homeless folk found the court a warm place to sit and be entertained on a winter's day. This man took a keen interest in every case, and gradually began to respond to each judgment.

Jail terms were greeted with a broad smile and eventually thumbs-up gestures. Fines produced a disappointed expression, while acquittals/absolute discharges resulted in a scowl of disapproval. At the end of one particularly lively performance, Bradley McCall QC, RM asked wee Tommy the clerk to find out more about his enthusiastic onlooker.

We then found that George was unable to speak except by belching through a hole in his throat, having had a laryngectomy. He had been a guard on the GNR (Gt Northern Railway) and usually worked the Dungannon-Omagh-Derry line, his wife had died, and he lived in the charitable home Clifton House. He found the court very interesting and he liked to see bad boys sent to jail. Being a railway buff, I found him a mine of fascinating stories.

Over the next year George became part of the courtroom scene. Gerry Lynn would give him a quizzical glance, Bradley McCall would give him his wintry smile, and John Long would say Good morning Mr Lowe, good morning George. Then we could all settle down to enjoy the day's proceedings.

Gerry Lynn was having a busy day, fining heavily and sending a few to jail, to the great pleasure of George who became more and more lively. When Gerry sent one of the town hoods down for six months George was ecstatic. He waggled his thumb furiously, he thumped the floor with his stick and he shouted Yessss!!! Unfortunately in Georgespeak this became a belch that rolled around the courtroom like the Last Trump.

A shocked silence fell over the proceedings, then a rustle of muffled mirth. Gerry beckoned me up to the Bench, to my surprise and the great annoyance of Wee Tommy who hated any invasion of his territory.

"Please ask your learned friend to calm down or I'll have to put him out. I'm glad he approves of my rulings but he's putting me off. He's like Madame Defarge at the guillotine. NEXT CASE, Mr Lowe."

I whispered to George that he had to behave quietly and from then on he curbed his enthusiasm. Wee Tommy was so aggrieved that he wouldn't speak to me for a week.

George's absences from the courtroom gradually increased and one day Mr. McCall asked if I could find out about him. I called at Clifton House and found that George had died a few days beforehand.

I asked Mr. McCall to tell the other RMs that George had passed to the Great Courtroom in the Sky. Gerry Lynn said that he'd make a worthy assistant to St. Peter.

[Graham]

Several topics...

Don't worry if you think you've already read the piece I've just posted in the "NUJ History" section. We're posting them there for archival purposes, as well as on Mr Hack.

Michael's memories of the old police courts in Belfast are marvellous. So well written, too. And such a good memory.

About Hastings Maguinness. He always travelled on the bus from Newtownards to Belfast and back. Appparently, he used to get into great (sometimes) heated discussions with other passengers about the merits or otherwise of players and teams.

In a cod newspaper edited, and largely written, by Tom Carson, for the BelTel's annual Christmas "do", Hastings was guyed as Waterloo McStout. I was satirised under the name of Graham McFrenzy

[Cal McCrystal]

I recommend Simon Jenkins' piece in today's Guardian on the recession. A depressing read, but great journalism nevertheless. Gloom is not eased on learning of the death of my great friend Christopher Hitchins, journalist and author, at the unripe age of 62, in a Texas hospital. His last e-mail to me was only 18 days ago. Many years ago, he described my wife as the "most beautiful of foreign correspondents' wives". There always was a gentle side to his vehemence.

[Michael]

Hastings Maguinness was Third Man on the top table when I joined the BT subs' room in 1959 as a trainee -- as posted before, a JES experiment which was never repeated. Cowan Watson was chief sub and the unloved Major was his deputy; I enjoyed the Major's days off as much as he did because the kindly Hastings was in charge.

Rotund of figure and florid of countenance, Hastings revelled in discussion of anything under the sun. Any reference to Newtownards would set him in full flow, or bring him an unmerciful ribbing from his colleagues.

Unfortunately his excitable nature did him no good at all. As edition times neared Hastings became very stressed, chain-smoking away as he chivvied his team to speed up the copy flow even though the comps upstairs were snowed under. I often thought the pressure under which he placed himself contributed to his relatively early demise.

In answer to Derek, Hastings was a delightful person, great company, and a great newspaperman. I remember him with affection and gratitude.

[Graham]

Belfast Telegraph reveals that MLAs at Stormont can eat a special slap-up Christmas Dinner for just £10-£12. It's heavily subsidised by you 'n me, not to mention thousands of low-paid workers.

This is the sort of journalism that won't be mentioned at the Leveson Inquiry. Well done, BT!

[Carl Anderson]

Hastings Maguinness and I both lived in Newtownards and worked in the BT, so Hastings travelled to and from Belfast each day as the front-seat passenger in my old Ford Popular (from 1961 until his death which, incidentally, occurred while he was reporting a match between Ards and a European side at Castlereagh Park).
I'm sure JC enjoyed that cup of tea at Hastings' North Road home, almost certainly made by his loving wife Ruth. And, for JC's information, the visitor from the Blaxnit factory was Harold Black, former Ards winger and then chairman of the football club.
Hastings was one of the most accomplished football reporters I can remember. He covered an Irish League match for the ISN every Saturday in life . . . and always dictated his copy ad-lib, almost as though he was having a conversation. It was a style I greatly admired at the time.
CA

[Graham]

Carl, I hope you don't think my memory is failing - Hastings told me about the football conversations that took place on the Newtownards bus...I remember him rushing off to the Smithfield bus depot in Belfast. That must have been before his jaunts in your Ford Popular (pre-1961)when I was a junior reporter on the BT.

Hastings took a fatherly interest in me and on several occasions asked the chief sub if I could have a by-line. When it was Cowan, the answer was yes, followed sometimes by a murmured "Good boy, good boy" later; when it was Major J StClair, the answer was no. I can still see Hastings in full sail across the floor. I didn't know until you told us that he died while covering a football match at his beloved Castlereagh Park.

[JC]

Thanks for the reminder, Carl ... Harold. Yes ... The two Black brothers were always immaculately dressed and Brylcreemed, I seem to remember.

[Blogmaster]

Contemplating his demise, Christopher Hitchens thought that there would come a day when newspapers would come out, but he wouldn't be around to read them. "And on that day, I've realised recently I'll probably be in in the newspapers. or quite a lot of them ... And etiquette being what it is, generally speaking rather nice things being said about me ... Just typical that will be the edition I miss."

It is true then that today's papers are indeed full of tributes/obits/interviews with the man and there is a good one in the Daily Telegraph and online and he is a link to let those who buy other papers read a good one by Mick Brown:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/8388695/Godless-in-Tumourville-Christopher-Hitchens-interview.html

[Cal McCrystal]

Those who refuse to accept that roofreading is a dying art may be convinced by the following newspaper howlers:-
 
 
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  
Panda Mating Fails; VeterinarianTakes Over 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 

War Dims Hope for Peace 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  

[Graham]

Gail Henderson, journalist on the Sunday Life, writes that she has been "pouring over" the wreckage of her bank statement. That's what comes of leaving it out in the rain.

[David Lynas]

The late Ritchie Wilson RM who presided - without a trace of humour - at Armagh and Newtownhamilton Petty Sessions was a Godsend. I'd get half a crown to get a bus to and from Newtown and buy my lunch every Tuesday.

I'd pocket the "half dollar" and hitch a lift. As he got to know me, Ritchie never failed to stop in his large Rover if he spotted me by the roadside. Even better, when the court ended he'd signal for me to wait outside for the return journey.

It was almost always a long, long day. Very few hardened criminals - mainly drunken driving, bald tyres, no insurace, using red diesel or common assault. Often the "accused" would approach me outside with a ten bob note in an attempt to stop their name from appearing in the paper. Ten bob was a bloody fortune to me in 1972. I refused them all - honest!

I once told him about it. He said "Young man, that would be the start of a long and wretched decline".

He always carried a wicker basket which contained what was reputed to be an "ulcer friendly" lunch. Solicitors would try to gauge his mood. If the first fine was excessive, there'd be a flurry of whispers and rustle of papers as they all requested adjournments to avoid Ritchie's ire. Sheer bliss for me!

One freezing winter morning Ritchie cleared the court immediately after his arrival. We all thought the ulcer was playing up.

When the doors opened again a short time later the furniture had been re-arranged. Ritchie, (wrapped in his Royal Naval duffle coat) had abandoned the bench and was seated beside the only source of heat, a tiny one-bar gas fire. The rest of us were left to occupy the few available chairs or stand against the damp walls for hours on end as he dispensed justice.

Newtownhamilton Pettey Sessions were finally merged with those in Armagh. So ended my "half dollar" a week expenses fraud. Ritchie Wilson - as far as I know - died after falling from a horse somewhere around Rostrevor. He was a generous soul, if you behaved yourself.

[MS]

One minor error, David. The ten-bob note had long disappeared by 1972!

[Blogmaster]

SUNDRY NUDES ...

We have received an email from our good friend Maurice Neill which states ..."Dear John, Attached is the only surviving edition of Sundry Nudes from 1975. Merry Xmas to you and all at Copyboys.". Many thanks, Maurice ... it is good to receive pix and this one is now at the top of the list in the Pictures album. We would love to hear from any of the five gentlemen who grace that Seventies front page ...

[JC]

My recollections of the courts we reported at the Newtownards Spectator is not so much the RMs nor even Judge GB Hanna, but the courts themselves and where they were held. In Newtownards it was the wonderful old building on Regent Street, later to be demolished and replaced with a concrete monstrosity which is even uglier now weather-beaten. In Portaferry, the court was held in the cinema with dreadful acoustics so that no one could hear properly anything that was being said. Us reporters sat in the stalls, front and centre at least. At Comber, the court took place in the more illustrious McMordie Hall with an attempt to provide a court setting with a desk for the RM and separate desks nearby for reporters and defendants/solicitors. A lift back to the office in a police car was a pleasant change from the Newtownards Chronicle van with Norman Boal at the driving wheel.

[Mitchell Smyth]

Testing . . . Posting I wrote an hour ago hasn't appeared. Anyone else have this problem?

[Blogmaster]

No ... it is working for me. I have checked a no comment by you has been put into spam or even into unpublished comments. It could be you have failed to fill in the letters code which sometimes appears when we take too long to hit Post.

[ruthie]

In order to raise some cash to buy a ticket to Hong Kong in the mid eighties, I had bought a dreadful pony from my friend's dad (to do him a favour) and take it from the bog.
The deal was I would pay him for the blessed thing when I sold it.
After four weeks of hard work, I placed it in a local mart and failed to sell it. However the same evening two traveller lads who were at the sale, came to my home and gave me £150 profit for the animal before riding it bareback into town.
Sometime later I was working in Armagh court doing the petty sessions on Tuesday, when colleague Joe McManus said to me 'there are friends of yours waving in the gallery.'
To my amazement there were my friends who bought the pony, with one of them up on quite a few accounts of burglary.
Gerry Harty RM was in charge and as
my pony friend made his way to the box to be sworn in he turned to me in the press gallery and announced:'The pony is doing very well!'

[Derek Black]

Have I missed it or has the BBCNI website studiously ignored the Belfast Telegraph report of Gregory Campbell's call for BBC salaries to be made public?